Disney World is a dream vacation for many, but it’s not always what it’s cracked up to be. After a recent stay at Disney’s Beach Club Resort, I felt that I need to share the gory details. So here it is: 10 reasons why you should NEVER EVER stay at Disney’s Beach Club.
10. You don’t get to check-in
Checking into your resort room is part of a long standing vacation tradition. But leave it to Disney to just take that away. First they offered online check-in 30 days in advance and now, I can’t even bring myself to say it. You can check in straight from the My Disney app on your phone or tablet. So what does that mean for you? Well no more welcoming interactions with the concierge, that’s for sure. Nope, instead you just walk straight to your room. They don’t even give you your luggage to take to your room! They insist on bringing it up to your room for you. The nerve.
9. The employees are too friendly
Maybe check-in is overrated anyway, after all who wants to deal with the cast members after a 4 hour flight?! Not this girl. Think about it, those people are trained to make this “The Happiest Place on Earth!” No one is that happy all the time. Their constantly smiling, and say “Hi ma’am how are you?” No thanks, I came here to spend time with my family. Once you finally brave past all of that nonsense you have to deal with the fact that….
8. The rooms will spoil you
Yup. The madness doesn’t even end once you get to your room. Now that the entire hotel has had a major renovation, there is fresh pain, furniture, and linens everywhere. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to know who was in the room before me. Preferably via DNA analysis from the hair they left in the drain, or psychoanalysis of their kids from the drawings on the wall. Can’t do that anymore, noooooo. Disney had to go and completely redesign the rooms. Just look.
7. You’ll never get to the parks
And just when you think, that you at least have the parks to count on. Wrong again. Because the Beach Club has this pool complex called Storm Along Bay, and it’s basically a Venus fly trap. The pool is over 3 acres, it has a sand bottom, 3 hot tubs, and – wait for – a water slide. Why would they do this? Do they not know how much we pay for those park tickets!? and now they’re just going to dangle this FREE WATER PARK in front of our faces? I can’t even stand it. Shame on you Disney.
6. You have to take a boat to Hollywood Studios
If you are able to escape the pool, you’re just in for more heartbreak. Hollywood Studios is just up the street, right? Oh, but there’s no bus like there is for just about any other park. You’re only means of transportation is an old rickety boat driven by a skipper with jokes worse than the Jungle Cruise. I know what’s in that water, no way I am taking a boat and getting stranded in the middle of that lake.
5. And WALK to EPCOT
At least Hollywood Studios has a boat though. You have to WALK to EPCOT. Ya, you read that right – W.A.L.K. What kind of a vacation is that? I don’t have 5 minutes to walk around to the park, I was promised Disney transportation! Where is it? Hmmm?!
4. They’ll make you skip lines
Ugh and once you finally finish the hike to EPCOT, they take away yet another Disney classic. That’s right, first line of the day – gone. That’s because there is a secret back entrance to EPCOT used almost exclusively by EPCOT area resort guests. You may think that’s a perk, but it’s not because it puts you at the back of the park. In the middle of World Showcase, no one wants to be there.
3. You’ll spend your life savings on candles
The Beach Club Resort has a very distinct smell. It’s an insane mix of floral, beach, and sandlewood maybe? I can’t even describe it, but it will make you feel like everything you’ve smelt before in your life was a lie. The scent will get you high and you’ll become an addict, walking through the lobby at all hours of the night just to get a whiff. And then! Well then you’re vacation is over. and you leave. And they don’t even give you like a car sized air freshener to ease the withdraw. You will spend months and go into debt trying to buy candles that recreate the scent. I bought ones I thought were comparable, but after an hour I was still fiending. I even tried to light 3 different candles that I though would mesh to make the scent. It was pure unadulterated madness.
2. They’ll make you eat out of a kitchen sink, literally
I’ve always heard of Disney’s superior customer service. Boy was I ever mistaken. I’m not sure what the deal was, maybe their dishwasher called out, maybe it was an abnormally busy day. Who knows? But when they brought our sundae out in a literal kitchen sink, I was beyond disgusted. Who does that? “oh, we’re out of dishes, guess we can use the kitchen sink.” There’s got to be a health code violation about that. Definitely will not be going back.
1. You’ll never be able to stay at another WDW property
Of course, I say this all in jest because, Disney’s Beach Club Resort is my absolute favorite hotel I’ve ever stayed in. The truth is, I’ll never be able to bring myself to stay in any other WDW resort, because Beach Club is now the love of my life.
P.S. You can get that Beach Club Lobby smell HERE